Cash Money

I spent 45 dollars on dinner this weekend. I wasn't buying dinner for the whole group. I paid 45 dollars after the bill was split 6 ways. There were two forks. There were multiple courses. The waiter said food words I didn't understand. My glass was refilled every time I took a drink. I ate alligator. It was amazing. $45 worth of amazing? I don't know. I was wearing a tie.

I walked outside. I walked to Bourbon Street. There were extremely gay men everywhere. They were participating in Southern Decadence. They weren't wearing very many clothes. A drunken foreign man poked me in the chest for emphasis while he tried to hit on my friend. I walked into a bar. A large man made me hand him my driver's license. He drew symbols on my hands. A short woman with a tray full of test tubes walked up to me. She put the bottoms of two tubes in her mouth. She tried to put the top of the tubes in my mouth. I showed her my symbols. She left. I did not have to pay $38 dollars to drink out of a woman's mouth like my friends did. I did however give a man a dollar because he put some soap in my hand and turned a faucet on. I showed two more women my symbols.

I walked outside. I saw more gay people. I got on the streetcar. A gay man got on the streetcar as well. A man, presumably a straight man, yelled at the gay man. The gay man's large woman friend yelled at the straight man. Obscenities were hurled. The proper way to express Southern Pride was debated. Chaps were recommended. Eyes were rolled.

That was my weekend. At one point I took off my shirt and swam in a fountain.